Happy Days

Hi Folks

So today My Wife ordered the flight tickets for South Africa this christmas, where we are seeing the whole family. Wich I'm looking very much forward too. But and this is going to sound very strange. What I'm looking forward to the most is actually the flight back. And why you might ask is he looking forward to that. Good question, but I'll show you why:

I GET TO BE ON THE BIGGEST PASSENGER PLANE IN THE WORLD. This has been a dream of mine ever since the stupid thing was launched and now I'm freaking gonna fly with it. YES YES YES YES. What can I say. I know I'm a nerd, but I'm a HAPPY nerd!!! And here comes the really nerdy thing. I already know where I'm going to sit. Ailse seat 48J Can't wait!!!

HAPPY DAYS FOLKS..

Stars

Hi Folks

Feeling lazy and not in the mood to do anything. But still I don't wont to cheat you guys out there for a little something. So here is a thing I did the other day. It's not perfect, but I like.

So what do you say??
For a better quality go here YouTube


Oh yeah Red got some new friends the other day. He is becoming really cocky and things he is a A-list kind of penguin now.

That's all for now...

Hotel Classification

Evening Folks

Today I want to indulge you in the world of hotel classification by stars. This idea has sprung to my head because I'm right now living at a 4 star hotel. Now most of you would now be filled with envy and thinking what a little prick and what the hell is he going on about, complaining while he lives in luxury. And this would be so true and very much justified, if it wasn't for the fact that the so called 4 star hotel was situated in Turkey of all places.

So let's take it slow and from the beginning. According to the all knowing and always right Wikipedia this is what a 4 star hotel should provide as a standart to get their stars, by the way a 4 star hotel is classified FIRST CLASS. But here is a quote from Wikipedia :

In addition to the comfort star (***) hotels: - Reception opened 18 hours, accessible by phone 24 hours from inside and outside - Lobby with seats and beverage service - Breakfast buffet or breakfast menu card via room service - Minibar or 24 hours beverages via room service - Upholstered chair/couch with side table - Bath robe and slippers on demand - Cosmetic products (e.g. shower cap, nail file, cotton swabs), vanity mirror, tray of a large scale in the bathroom) - Internet access and internet terminal - "À la carte"-restaurant

Right let's see. A reception that's open 18 hours, no way. Oh and to get their third star the staff in the reception has to wear a three piece suit. HA and be bilingual (german/english) if that means trouser and short sleeve shirt and speaking a mix of german and english, then CHECK.

24 hours beverages via room service, nope that's nonexistent at my hotel where the serving of beverages stops at 2300 sharp! Bugger when you want a nightcap.

Upholstered chair/couch with side table. HA HA HA HA please stop my from laughing. Here is a picture of my so called chair!

WTF!! In my world that's a STOOL/ TABURETE!! And for the side table, I'm still looking without any luck, but who knows I might still find it in my humongous room (approximately 10 square meters)

Bathrobe and slippers and demand. Yeah right I don't even think that the guy at reception with his waiving arms and legs knows the expression On Demand and as for the cosmetic products I've got a small tube with orange contents, that should simulate shower gel.

The internet access is more or less there and the internet terminal is across from the street called Internet Cafe' and don't get me started on the A la Carte Restaurant, where everything seems to come out of a can and if it can't be bought on cans it's boiled in oil and steered together to one big mesh. Ughh..

So my conclusion is that this hotel only deserves a maximum of two stars! So I've now ordered a 40 foot ladder and will as soon it arrive go in the dusk of dawn and brutely remove to two stars that the hotel so not deserves and hang them on my wall as a token of a mission well done.

So Oba Star! Stop your false advertising and get a grip with reality!!

Sad!

Evening Folks.

Today I had to say goodbye to my Wife, who is going back to Denmark where duty calls. Been such a great thing to have her here for a week. So now it's back to being a cynical and Grumpy Old PRIK! So keep a good eye out for my next block. REPUGNANCE will PREVAIL!!!

Oh I found the perfect place to put ignorant Turks, that doesn't listen and start every sentence with : My Friend!

Not So Happy Days....

Red

Hi Folks

Happy as a Goldfish at the moment, so there isn't that much sour mesh to report on at the time so here is a couple of snaps of my companion who follows me thru thick and thin!

So until next time: Happy Days

The Wife

 Hi Folks

Two nights ago my wife arrive to Alanya to visit me here during production for a week. So after working a lot of days strait I've managed to scrape together some off days and what joy it has been to be with the wife. To see everything thru her eyes has been wonderful and giving me time to reflect on this god for saken hell hole of a tourist trap.

Somethings here you gotta love though. Like this Neon dealership, wich by the share the same name as our taxi company. Ufuk Taxi. Say it quickly and you know.

So two days in the hands of the Misses is coming to the end and tomorrow will bring business as usual, but who gives a flying ufuk, when you will sleep in the arms of your loved One.

Cave, Cornetto and Hamam

Hey Folks

      Things down here has been going okay, taking the Turkish standart in consideration and only a few power failures. So Jonas the Artfulslacker himself and I decided to take up on the offer that the production had put out there a coulpe of weeks ago. A free Hamam package. The Hamam is more commonly known as a Turkish Bath. So yesterday day we drove to the new marina in Alanya where the spa that provides this Hamam is located. Excited likes little kids on Christmas morning, we were chatting about how good this was going to be and how much we needed something like this to get our moods up. Arriving at the Spa we got a shock. CLOSED FOR THE DAY!!! Bugger!! Now disappointed like the same little kid on Christmas morning that got a knitted sweater, instead of the Transformer he wanted. We drove off again towards our hotel. Swearing and honking at everyone on our way.

      All of the sudden I got a idea! Let's do something touristy and knew exactly what it should be! Searching my memory banks I recalled that there was a nice cave in a mountain just outside of town. So the curse was set and we flashed by the hotel and strait out of town towards the mountain. On our way up the mountain we drove on this little road with gravel here and pavement there. Getting more and excited, because there wasn't any tourist in sight. Yet again we got our hopes up to early! Because at the parking lot at the foot of the staircase leading to the cave was the TOURISTS and loads of them. Bugger Bugger Bugger! But what the hell we thought, we are already here so let's do it. And so we did to our big joy. Caves are and will always be interesting and somewhat magical.

      After walking around in the cave I got a urge I haven't had in years, well 18 years approx. I wanted a ice cream, shocking myself with this urge we went to ice cream parlor and he had exactly what I wanted or almost that is : A Cornetto with raspberry. Much to my surprise I actually enjoyed it a lot! And we drove back to do some work at location.

      The next day we were still a bit moody about the Hamam and decided to try again. So off we went and they were open! Yes Yes! To describe how that was would be a very difficult task and my vocabulary isn't near to justify it by any means. All I can tell you is that it was a over the moon experience. And as they say a picture says a thousand words. So feast your eyes on this :

So as you can see, we were very relaxed and are now fit for fight. So come on Alanya!! BRING IT ON!!!

By the way : We GOT our Transformer!

Hamid's Party

Rahbæk going Crazy

Football, Night Out, Taxi

Evening Folks

After suffering a severe writers block, I'm back and feeling like I got something to say. So here goes:

Work has been a bit frustrating lately with all the power issues we have down here in turkey and it's been draining a lot on the good mood and energy. So I decided last week to arrange a football match against to boys from Ali Baba, wich is my Kebab hangout. The game was played yesterday late afternoon, we were 8 guys from the production playing. We started out quite good and came ahead by one goal within the first 3 min, then the Ali Baba boys started to play together and we were suffering during the extrem heat and then lead the match from the 10th min to the end. I must say that for 8 guys that never together before we did ok and only loosing with 2 goals after 90 minutes. All in All it was very fun and we are now planning our rematch so we can claim our honor back.

After the football we went back to the hotel for drinks and making our self ready to join a birthday party. Our two sound guys of wich the one had a birthday are DJ's back home as well, so they had lined up their computers and mixers at the restaurant across from the hotel, better known as The Corner. Most of the crew that wasn't working were sitting there already when we arrived and the party was just about to kickoff and so it did. Loud monotone Techno was pumping out over The Corner and people were ordering drinks and beers like never before and the waiters were doing theirs to get the party going even more with all sort of gimmicks and fireworks. I my self was a little sceptic about going out and getting drunk, but the loud Techno and peoples cheering was catching on, so I decided, What the Hell let's party. So chunking 5 or 6 large draft's I was ready to hit the town. We went to the Crazy Horse, the crew's usual hideout and had buckets fill with Ice, redbull and vodka. And I got even more drunk.

Finally after hours of drinking I was at the point where the body was starting to tell me NO MORE!! So clever enough I staggered down to the Taxi rink and climbed aboard one and told him where to go. After 5 minutes of discussing the price we settled at 15 lira, wich is an okay price. These taxi drivers here in Alanya are real hustlers and keep ripping you off, so the discussion and settled price is necessary. But No this driver was a real hustler, so 2 minutes out on our way to the hotel he freaking picked up a couple at a traffic light. A bit irritated I accepted it and they jump aboard. They were going the same direction and I thought we could share the price, seemed like a deal. Minutes later we at their destination and they got out and paid the taxi driver 10 lira, cool I thought. Now I only have to pay five lira. we drove of again and arrived at my hotel. Then it started, the driver turned around holding his hand out and saying 15 lira please. I looked at him and said, but your already got 10 lira from the couple. He then said and now comes the funny bit: Another trip, another trip! WTF it's not like your taxi suddenly divided it self into two separate taxi's. So again I said to you already got over half the money and I will only give your 5 lira. Now he started to get mad and yelling at me: Another Trip Another Trip. I thought what a IDIOT and started saying unpleasant things on danish to him, That didn't help at all, remind you that I was drunk. so now both yelling at each other in his taxi we came to an agrement, believe it or not, and I payed 10 lira.

Furious and Ripped Off I went to my room. But first I knocked on Jonas's door and he was up, unlucky him. Because now he had to sit an listen to me talk about the taxi and all sorts. But kind as he is, he sat thru whole Drunk Man Talk of wich I can only recall the last few minutes.

So that was My Sunday.

Don Dieselone

Here are a little slideshow of the Godfather and his keeper! Raw DieselPower

Something Missing

Not alone does Coca Cola charge double price for their goods at Metro in Alanya, but they are also cheating!!

Don Dieselone

Behind this door is the GodFather of all Generators

The Making of Kebab

The Tourist

Turkish Power

Evening Folks.

What a couple of days, not to say last 40 hours. Let me explain: When you work in country's abroad with Tv and you are reliant and the local power grid and it's a bit unstable or should I say having a mind of it's own. There are bound to be some situations where things are not as you want them be and you wish you were just a little cricket sitting in the grass and could jump around and run away as you feel. The last 40 hours has been like that.

It all began yesterday when the phone suddenly rang and the rather nice, but somewhat desperate, voice said we are down and the power has just gone. Self asure as I was, I said : No worries help is on the way! Knowing that our emergency generator would have kicked in long ago and it would just be some small adjustments and then back on track. Boy was I to be proven wrong. We got there and started to reboot everything and in the matter of minutes we were back on track and walked out as small heroes. Barely had we got back from the mountain before the phone rang again and the now not so nice voice said we are down again! Same reply at last time flew out of my mouth even more secure then last time, turned the car around and spun up the mountain again. Same procedure as last time and voila we were back on track once more.

Then it started. Puff Click Bip Bip and the power was gone again, now looking at each other a bit worried we started from scratch and bang we were up, we thought, cus now again running on Genni power, we had now power!! So we started to search for errors and found one! The Genni power wasn't coming any further then the wall box. This was out our hands and we called in the local electrician who had set up the system. While he was on he way to us, the fuel guy came in his truck and wanted to fuel the Genni., we said okay BUT you'll have to wait until the Genni isn't running. He reply in what we now know is the standard Turkish way, waiving his arms and saying yes yes. Clearly not understanding a word of what was coming out of my mouth, so we said to our guard that speaks a little english that he couldn't fuel while the Genni was running and he nooded and went with the guy to the Genni. We went back to our other problem. Then after some minutes the Genni stopped and so did our hearts, because there was still no city power and still the problem. Running to the Genni we arrive just as the fuel guy pulled his head out of the Genni with the fuel hose in his hands, smiling and making the all done mister gesture! Fool we thought, never fuel a running engine, curses air to run into the fuel filter!  Dammit now more problems to fix and the production were at a still stand. Finally the chief electrician arrive. A real silver fox with raybans and blue jeans. Cool we thought he'll fix! and believe it or not He actually did and after a while we up and running on The Genni again and to making Tv. Excellent.

We finished the long day and went back to our hotel and slept. For Four hours only and we where back on location to do a routine exchange of some hardrives and then it happened. Puff Click Bip Bip. Bullocks we said and started the power up routine, now before we could think, it went off again and again and again, 7 times to be exact and after that we were cribbled and had no control over any of our cams. Now starting sweet and thinking all the worst case scenarios in our heads, but not saying it out loud. we battled thru all the possible things that could be wrong and narrowed it down to a router. Battling with that for many hours, with everyone around us itching to get back to making Tv ( not making it any easier I must say ) we came to the conclusion that we needed TechSupport. Not something you want to do when You are the TechSupport, but we swallowed the Mountain camel and Called Norway and after a few minutes on the phones, The Norwegian God as he will now be know as, took remote controle of our Tech Computer via a little usb 3g modem and started his search.

We sat there for over three hours watching this Northern God jumping in and out of our router and all sorts of programmes and diagnostics. Real Nerd Tv I tell you and talking with him over two cell phones with a now very big phone bill. We were on the right track and as we was nearing the end and now all Three almost in tears we listen to Frank Sinatra's I got you under skin on the phone while the Norwegian God did his last magic. WE CAME BACK ALIVE!!! Euforia started to spread among us as we tested the system thru and finding everything up to standard.  Eureka!! And then we did it! All three of took the walkie and made the general announcement: We can now make Tv again and the euforia was now all over!! Now tired after a twelve hour long battle with the effect of Turkish Power.

I'm pleased.

The Hotel that Laughs

Morning..

Well I wanted to be happy and joyful, but it's difficult when you are living at a hotel like mine and what is it they say: When things go bad, they go really bad. So let's start at the beginning. One of the nice things with a hotel that houses a lot of tourist is, that they most likely have Tv from your home country and so does this one. But about 6 days ago the connection died. So I went down to reception to explain that there was no Danish Tv ( only reason I want to watch the damm Tv is because of news from Home ) and the receptionist replied NO NO there is No extra danish tv channels only standard channels. I kindly said yes I understand that, but the two channels you've got aren't working. Then He replied Ok we fix your tv, Teknik Teknik he said and pointed towards the block I stay in. I chook it off on thought oh well, they will properly find out that it's not the tv but their SATbox that's the problem and went back to my business. The next day I waited until late afternoon and then checked the Tv again. Still no News from. So I called reception and the Teknik Teknik show started all over again. Jesus Christ I thought and gave up. This charade continued the following days and is still a daily show. While this charade is running new problems occurred. First it was the warm water that is non existing in the early morning hours when we get up. So I took the long way to reception again and lucky as I am it was the same Turk standing there smiling. So I said that the hot water wasn't working and he immediately replied yes yes Teknik Teknik and I thought Oh God here we go again and true enough the charade started and I went to work. Next day all my "problems" was still there and another one came. My curtain felt down because a faulty curtain hanger. And yes back to reception and listed all the faults in my room and he was laughing a bit and started to write it all down. I went to work reassured that hotel would now take it serious and Fix everything. Great I thought beginning to get back some of the faith. BUT NO!!! I came back in the afternoon and nothing was done! Now really irritated at the reception and left with no faith I'm looking at a hotel that Laughs!

Why Not!

This must the Alanya Sewer service

Sunday

Evening Folks

Back again after some quite moments on my first off day in a while. Been relaxing and slowing down, wich has been nice. BUT all of that was brutely disrupted when I went for a shave this afternoon. After a nice shave where the Turkish had behaved quite good and just focussing on the job in hand, I had to pay for the shave and this is where it all went skew. The guy who shaved me stepped aside and in came his colleague, A real smart ass of a turk. He took my money and on the way out off the barbershop he started babbling about their Tattoo studio and if I wanted to get a tattoo, I politely rejected, But this freaking idiot insisted and kept talking about all their good work. Again I said to him that I wasn't interested and now he started to rub his dirty little grease fingers up and down my arm were my two tattoo's are and said that he could do a coverup if I was willing. What the FUCK!! I was getting slightly more irritated and on the brim to get really pissed. So I said quite firm NO I DO NOT WANT A TATTOO OR A COVERUP. Then the little prik said why NO?? And started to pull me towards their portfolio book. I was now MAD!!! Let go of my arm! I said out very loud, so the norwegian couple that just entered the barbershop looked at me with a nervous face expression, looking like they regretted what they just negotiated. Their loss. So Mr. Grease finger let go off my arm and started saying some in turkish and I started talking Danish to him, it's up to free interpretation what I said, and left. So much for quite sunday afternoon with some personal grooming. But now two giant burger from BK and a beer later I'm relaxed again.

Steawberry

 
Oh Look there is A Steawberry van.

To understand the right meaning of that I'm forced to refer to the Artfulslacker at his Blog where you can read up on the Steawberry.  www.artfulslacker.blogspot.com

The Result!

Working.

Starbucks

Hey Folks

Again this morning I woke up way to early and tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't. Sucks. Then out of the blue the coffee urge started to rumble around in my brain. So I went down to the restaurant at the hotel, totally forgetting that their coffee sucks big time. How hard can it be to make decent coffee. Well decided to get some breakfast instead, that sucked as well, so ended up eating two eggs and went back to my room. Trying to suppress the still growing coffee urge. Failure again!! Then I started texting Jonas on Skype to see if he was up and running. No Response. Then finally some response. Jonas was up!! And wanted to go with me to Starbucks to kill the now extreme coffee urge. Got to Starbucks and there was a big que and no waiter and no one going from the place with coffee. Now on the brim to die from lack coffee I started to ask around what was going on! Then a waiter came and said that they couldn't make coffee! My heart stopped for a second... Frustrated I asked the waiter why?? She replied no power!! So I offered my help to fix the power, she looked at me like I just dropped down from the Moon with a Big Question mark on her face. I told her that Jonas and I are technicians and do the this for a living. She then showed us the way to their generator and Jonas immediately said: I know that one, We can fix. And so we went to work, both complaining that the one time we go civilian, we needed our utility belt. But there was no way back and with the help of some plastic and a 20 cent screwdriver we fixed the generator. Then back to the shop and they where jumping with joy and offered Us free choice on Coffee and Food. And so we did.

So now my coffee urge is crunched!!