Hotel Classification

Evening Folks

Today I want to indulge you in the world of hotel classification by stars. This idea has sprung to my head because I'm right now living at a 4 star hotel. Now most of you would now be filled with envy and thinking what a little prick and what the hell is he going on about, complaining while he lives in luxury. And this would be so true and very much justified, if it wasn't for the fact that the so called 4 star hotel was situated in Turkey of all places.

So let's take it slow and from the beginning. According to the all knowing and always right Wikipedia this is what a 4 star hotel should provide as a standart to get their stars, by the way a 4 star hotel is classified FIRST CLASS. But here is a quote from Wikipedia :

In addition to the comfort star (***) hotels: - Reception opened 18 hours, accessible by phone 24 hours from inside and outside - Lobby with seats and beverage service - Breakfast buffet or breakfast menu card via room service - Minibar or 24 hours beverages via room service - Upholstered chair/couch with side table - Bath robe and slippers on demand - Cosmetic products (e.g. shower cap, nail file, cotton swabs), vanity mirror, tray of a large scale in the bathroom) - Internet access and internet terminal - "À la carte"-restaurant

Right let's see. A reception that's open 18 hours, no way. Oh and to get their third star the staff in the reception has to wear a three piece suit. HA and be bilingual (german/english) if that means trouser and short sleeve shirt and speaking a mix of german and english, then CHECK.

24 hours beverages via room service, nope that's nonexistent at my hotel where the serving of beverages stops at 2300 sharp! Bugger when you want a nightcap.

Upholstered chair/couch with side table. HA HA HA HA please stop my from laughing. Here is a picture of my so called chair!

WTF!! In my world that's a STOOL/ TABURETE!! And for the side table, I'm still looking without any luck, but who knows I might still find it in my humongous room (approximately 10 square meters)

Bathrobe and slippers and demand. Yeah right I don't even think that the guy at reception with his waiving arms and legs knows the expression On Demand and as for the cosmetic products I've got a small tube with orange contents, that should simulate shower gel.

The internet access is more or less there and the internet terminal is across from the street called Internet Cafe' and don't get me started on the A la Carte Restaurant, where everything seems to come out of a can and if it can't be bought on cans it's boiled in oil and steered together to one big mesh. Ughh..

So my conclusion is that this hotel only deserves a maximum of two stars! So I've now ordered a 40 foot ladder and will as soon it arrive go in the dusk of dawn and brutely remove to two stars that the hotel so not deserves and hang them on my wall as a token of a mission well done.

So Oba Star! Stop your false advertising and get a grip with reality!!